loving the mirror vs. loving yourself


Determination and discipline are sought after qualities, but people never really talk about the negative effects that it can have. As a man who always strives for greatness and always pushes myself to new heights, I wrestle with the wondering thought of “why am I not happy with what I already have/ achieved?”

It is easy for us to get caught up in the fast pace of life and forget to sometimes pause, breathe, and reflect on our achievements and progress.
Tuesday of this week I finally hit a breaking point. I had worked every day for the past 10 days straight and I’d had enough. I put my phone on airplane mode, ignored all of my text messages, and turned the world off.

As a natural born leader, I have always prided myself to lead by example. Wether that may be through sports, or as being a health and fitness coach. People will follow where they see success and fulfillment, this is why I believe to my core that it is crucial to be a physical representation of what I am trying to teach my clients.

I’ve always believed in being a physical representation of my product. When my physique is healthy, lean, and strong I can say that my product works because I am the living, breathing example of my product.

Fitness is like a ruler, a measuring tool that is used to push yourself to achieve not only physical limitations, but as well as pushing past your minds “limitations”. ?


But when is being ripped healthy, and not?

What does it mean to be “healthy”, “fit”, or even “beautiful” for that matter? Who gets to decide?

With fitness, I have experienced the up and downs, both physically AND MENTALLY. I have often noticed in myself, as well as others that we are so quick to sacrifice our mental health in order to attain the so called “perfect body”.

Competing for me was a way for me to focus. Over the last few months though it was less of a focus and more of an obsession

I would do whatever it took to be the leanest, most shredded, most dedicated athlete.

I’d sacrifice friends, relationships, social gatherings and potentially life-enriching experiences because I was focused on being as shredded as possible.

This provided me with alot of value for a long time, and to be honest at the time I think it was what I needed to experience. I needed to experience being lean, being aesthetic, being shredded for me to realize that it’s not what I’m supposed to be doing with my life. I may be good, I may be great at it, but it’s not my life’s calling.

I’ve been put here for a higher purpose.

There’s more to life than having a six pack.





I don’t want to have to rely on the way that I look as a measuring tool for how I view myself.

I think that we’re fed these distorted images of what’s healthy and what’s unhealthy in order for us to keep coming back and purchasing products to make us feel good, look better, and love ourselves.

True love, building relationships, experiencing what is important in life is all apart of finding yourself and growing.

It’s when you come to that raw realization that the only way that you can ever experience self love and validation comes from within yourself. There’s no physical shape that can provide you with that love for yourself; your mind is more powerful than your highs and lows.
Becoming a professional fitness model was a blessing for me. Winning with the WBFF was the first time that I had ever set a goal for myself and came out with a Win. I had been 2nd place before, a couple of times, but I had never been declared a champion. The WBFF gave me that opporutnity and I’m forever grateful.

I get more value out of helping someone lose 10 pounds and learn about nutrition than I do by getting a percentage of body fat leaner.

I get more value out of helping someone learn about fitness and get confident in the gym then I do by shredding into a photoshoot.

Now don’t get me wrong — this isn’t a post saying I’ll never compete again. Because I’m a competitive person and I know that it’s going to come up again at some point and when the time is right I will step on stage and I will aim to win.

In the meantime though I’m going to find value in learning to love myself for who I am, not what I look like.

I’m going to get comfortable knowing that sometimes life isn’t about avoiding the cookie, it’s about eating two of them.

And I’m going to inspire other people to reach for their fitness goals and learn to love themselves for the effort, not for the result. #AEnation

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

contact us